There are times we need to go deeper in order to clarify what a person is saying, or to reveal a misunderstanding on their part, or to open them up to a reality they already believe in, such as Beauty, Justice, Morality, Truth, etc.  Too often someone will make a comment and we find ourselves surprised and stuck, and the conversation hits a dead-end.  But it doesn’t have to, and these 3 questions are your way to advance the dialogue. 

Here are 3 questions that help me progress in a conversation with someone (from Greg Koukl’s book, TACTICS):

Learn to ask…

“What do you mean by that?”

On a bus, a person is reading a Bible. an old schoolmate gets on and comes over, and says, “You’re not still into that God stuff, are you?!  There’s no evidence that it’s true!”  This is a perfect time to ask this first question: “What do you mean by that?” (by ‘God’ — “Who do you mean when you say ‘God’?” Or ‘stuff’ — “What are you referring to when you say ‘stuff’?” Or ‘evidence’ - “What do you mean by ‘evidence’? What would count as ‘evidence’ to you? What kind of evidence would you need to see in order to think differently ab God?” All these questions open up conversation. 

”Why do you think that?”

“You say you don’t believe x, y, or z. But, why do you believe that?  What (evidence) led you to think that?”  

Have you ever wondered:

Why we human beings are so attracted to ‘BEAUTY’, when no other animal reflects an aesthetic nature in their being?

Why ‘JUSTICE’ matters so much to us? 

Where ‘MORALITY’ comes from?”  How can you have morality w/o a moral lawgiver? Where would it come from?

Why it’s wrong to DISCRIMINATE based on a person’s ethnicity, gender, color, or creed?

Amazingly, the gospel is the answer to the question, Who is Jesus? 

The gospel is not a set of moral commandments that we keep, or a set of ideas we think about, or some religious experience we try to have. It’s primarily a response to a question. 

In Mark 8.26-29, Jesus asks His disciples a question: “Who do the crowds say that I am?” They reply that people think He is John the Baptist, Elijah, or one of the prophets. Then Jesus asks them this question: “Ok, but who do YOU say that I am?” Behind this question, the gospel writer Mark is asking one fundamental question: WHO IS JESUS?  Mark’s whole gospel story is based on the answer to that one question that comes up at the half-way-point.  Peter’s answer to that question is the heart of the gospel, and our eternal life hinges on our answer to that question.